fear, planets & paint

Fear Osho quote

“Fear is there: accept it, note it…”

This has been a week of confronting and overcoming fears. From the threatening advance of cockroaches, fearing failure, fearing success , to fears about my finances. I no longer see it as a battle though, so ‘confront’ is not appropriate. A couple of images and quotes appeared to me this week in social media that have echoed my present relationship with my fears. This quote by Osho resonated with me because one of the benefits of moving away from busy, hectic, fast, stressful, London is the relative contrasting calmness of Amsterdam.
Whilst here I am learning to just sit with my fears, feel them and listen to them. Fear is like a part of me who doesn’t get listened to. The more she is ignored, the louder and more paralysing her voice of doom is and the more fearful and anxious I feel. If i fight her and try to ignore her even more, depression sets in. I’m mostly now able to listen and offer her the empathy, comfort and compassion she needs / I need. Then all becomes calmer. Spending time with myself, fewer distractions, I can gently steer myself back to focus. If it takes 2 hours then so be it. I avoid judging and berating myself.
With quite by chance sighting the full moon on wednesday night after staying up late with a bottle of red wine and too many Netflix episodes, I was fortunate to capture this shot on my digital camera out in my garden at 1.30am. A friend commented on this full moon being about Mercury in retrograde. I found this article about Mercury in Retrograde and found similarities with my present state. Rising from a mist of fear anxiety and insecurity, I now feel able to pick up from last week and return to sorting out my studio. I found myself with a higher level of energy to move around boxes and being applying another coat of paint. I also cleaned up the garden trash and threw out old boxes and other rubbish. It felt soo refreshing!
Still more boxes to move and painting to complete before the flooring is laid in the studio, but I am confident with my new-found mercury-in-retrograde energy I can get it done much quicker 🙂

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