time . decay . foreshortened

9ad356b8c1dd05f2e6b2730fbc7d36c3I am finding it difficult to embrace how time is working for me right now. There are 2 levels I’m experiencing. A steady pace of getting-things-done, interspersed with a much slower pace, a kind of timeless suspension which I find myself immersed in when grappling with moments of deep reflection. Sometime I just ‘freeze’, do nothing for minutes or hours sometimes, sitting, staring into space or clicking on links online just to pass the time. I know it is linked to my childhood coping mechanism, which I learned about from recent counselling. Having the time to sit with these ‘frozen’ moments has enabled the ‘thawing’ process to occur, when I can begin a dialogue with myself about why I am in that state (usually panic, fear, anxiety). I can then gently and compassionately pull myself through with reassurances and addressing my feelings and needs at that moment.

I am having a lot of these…. Being still in a time of transition can be beneficial if approached with tools that are enabling, rather than my usual tools of biscuits and red wine J I am sitting with these moments in a very patient and compassionate way now, using tools such as the NVC dance http://www.cnvc.org and the philosophy of my Buddhist practice  . I came across a couple of quotes by Carl Jung that touched me. I have not read his work but am familiar with it through friends who have studied him. I like how he talks about the dark. I experience a lot of ‘darkness’ – through my depression, my ‘frozen’ moments and also transmitted through some of my work. I am looking for a good book by Carl Jung to begin reading, so please make suggestions 🙂

Each day I’m amazed at how the sunlight and mild weather continues. The lighter paint colour draws more natural light into the studio too. Plans for a glass panel in the door will enhance this further. until then I’ll be using a daylight bulb on cloudy days. Painting now complete, I now have to wait for the flooring to be fitted.

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IMG_3771Loving the decaying nature of the Autumn months falling all around me, I decided to photograph the metal decay on the shelving unit from the old shed. I wanted to find the beauty in the rust, so captured some shots and edited through VSCOcam and instagram. I could see this turning into a huge project with translations into paint, fabric, glazes…..oh the possibilities! Using Instagram to showcase my photos is just one way I am maintaining a creative outlet.

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I attended 2 drawing events this week. Meet-up life drawing with Amsterdam International Life Drawing Society. I found maintaining a balanced proportion of the figure very difficult and then the added challenge of foreshortening did not help! I do enjoy the effects of the strong spot lighting.

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Art installation at Open Draw created by artists who use vinyl to create their work.
Art installation at Open Draw created by artists who use vinyl to create their work.

Friday night I visited a drawing event that was part of ADE  and organised by The Open Draw a space that’s run twice a month that encourages everyone and anyone to come and have a go at drawing or doodling. No models, no set instructions (although a theme or idea is shared sometimes). I found the organisers so warm and friendly! There was a DJ at the event and those of us at the doodle table could draw what we wanted or draw something in response to the music. Which is what I did. it was lovely to just make marks in an abstract way. I love the discipline of life drawing, yet sometimes I forget how fun doodling and random marking making can be. There was a table full of drawing equipment including pastels, water colours and ink. My colouring materials are still packed away so I immediately just went for some colour which was refreshing to use. Here are my three interpretations of the House music played by the DJ that evening.

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Amsterdam Dance Event 2014, Techno
Amsterdam Dance Event 2014

That night was a nice mellow introduction for me to ADE week. I was baptized win thetemple of Techno the following night when I attended Scwumn meets Incognito – the music, lightshow, projections were absolutely amazing!!! http://instagram.com/p/uUahPjvI60/ I need more of this music! What I love so much about instrumental sounds like Techo, Dubstep etc. is not just the amazing heavy sounds, but also the fact that the music is a backdrop for everyone. I hear some music that I love in other genres, but I choke on the lyrics. Like this I recently heard by Mykki Blanco. The opening few minutes are mind-thumpingly good to me – and then he starts to say his lyrics and I cringe. I’m hearing repeatedly ‘nigger’ ‘fucked ya bitch’ etc. and my heart sinks. I try to ignore the words and sentiment, but its difficult to appreciate the awesome sounds when my heart is uncomfortable. Old age I guess! I hope he releases an instrumental version soon. Or maybe there’s a way I can filter out his voice……..

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